Single=scary

I have a friend who once told me that he believed he could write a book about being single. First of all I think that he/she is crazy because you can't truly know what being single is until you have been in a longterm extremely serious relatoinship. Secondly, everybody has a longing for companionship. Maybe not marraige, but we all need deep relationships with others. This blog is about that first little point. If you have not figured this out yet my grammer is terrible and I do not care. Look past it please. This is extremely personal and I have to watch what I say, but I am having a terrible time with my personal life right now. Being single is a strange thing. I am not currently "officially" single, but i sure feel like it. I really shouldn't be putting this out there for ya'll, but it is kind of a big deal for me right now. Seems to me that being single is scary. There is no one that absolutely has to take care of you. That is terrifying to me. I am the kind of guy who finds it hard to devote alot of time to one person. I have done that with one person outside of my family, and it has been hard. It seems to me that being single means relying on one's friends. I have never felt comfortable with that. The sad thing is that it is all my fault. I have never been one to let friends know what was going on in my life and I have never had a close friend. The question that has floated around in my mind for the past week or so is "does being single scare everyone as much as it does me?" or "Am I just a damn pathetic friend for not feeling that I can rely on my friends?"

The Beginning

So I have never blogged before and do not expect anyone to ever read this. I have always written out feelings on paper and I feel it helps. Well, I guess it will be ok for some of you (meaning nobody) to read the ones that maybe do not run too deep. I hope to post more soon.