Friday, September 19, 2008
Single=scary
I have a friend who once told me that he believed he could write a book about being single. First of all I think that he/she is crazy because you can't truly know what being single is until you have been in a longterm extremely serious relatoinship. Secondly, everybody has a longing for companionship. Maybe not marraige, but we all need deep relationships with others. This blog is about that first little point. If you have not figured this out yet my grammer is terrible and I do not care. Look past it please. This is extremely personal and I have to watch what I say, but I am having a terrible time with my personal life right now. Being single is a strange thing. I am not currently "officially" single, but i sure feel like it. I really shouldn't be putting this out there for ya'll, but it is kind of a big deal for me right now. Seems to me that being single is scary. There is no one that absolutely has to take care of you. That is terrifying to me. I am the kind of guy who finds it hard to devote alot of time to one person. I have done that with one person outside of my family, and it has been hard. It seems to me that being single means relying on one's friends. I have never felt comfortable with that. The sad thing is that it is all my fault. I have never been one to let friends know what was going on in my life and I have never had a close friend. The question that has floated around in my mind for the past week or so is "does being single scare everyone as much as it does me?" or "Am I just a damn pathetic friend for not feeling that I can rely on my friends?"
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1 comment:
I have to disagree strongly with some of your points. First off:
"you can't truly know what being single is until you have been in a longterm extremely serious relatoinship [sic]"
I might go as far as saying that this idea is exactly backwards. I don't think you can know how to be single if you've spent the majority of your life in a relationship. Our culture has this idea that in order to "get it" we must dedicate and spend gratuitous amounts of time with an individual. Not a group/family/church/etc. but an individual. I'm not so sure I buy it.
Second:
"Seems to me that being single is scary. There is no one that absolutely has to take care of you."
The only one who can ever really take care of you is still there. And with him comes a group of people.
But to answer your question, I think everyone is scared of being single to some degree. Especially if you're not used to it. However, hiding in relationships will never help you overcome this fear. The only way to overcome it is to stare at it face to face. I'm starting to think that, at least for me, I need to completely overcome this fear before i even bother attempting a relationship. I need to be satisfied with my position as a follower of Christ and a child of God. That way, a relationship wont be an attempt at filling a void or escaping a fear. It won't be a selfish attempt at satiating a thirst, but rather loving someone - not because I need her or she needs me - but because we can better experience all of what God has created together.
but i could be wrong
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