Saturday, October 4, 2008
Untitled
As you well know I am not near cool enough to be reading something insightful to share with you. Most of my posts will be me ranting when I feel I need to rant. I am in a depression right now. I may not seem like it to most, but I can stoop into the darkest states. For most likely everyone who might just read this dang thing I bet that is news. Right now I feel that everything in my life is disappointing me. My relationships with everybody, my job, my brother, my major even. I know that saying my relationships disappoint me kind of pokes all my friends right in the eye, and for that I apologize. I am not disappointed with my friends for the most part. I am disappointed with the way I handle my relationships. I am on the verge of just withdrawing from everybody and just dedicating myself to my work and being the worst person any of you know. I am almost ready to scrap life as I know it until I get to Pharmacy school in AU. Relationships are work and right now I feel that I am far to messed up to focus on nurturing others. I think that any happiness I derive out of life immediately gets shoved right out the door and I tell it to leave me alone. Even when I feel good lurking in he ack of my mind is the thought that it is all a sham. If you see me smiling do not believe it. Likely it is a passing moment of hope that will soon be bottled up.
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4 comments:
"I am almost ready to scrap life as I know it until I get to Pharmacy school in AU"
Don't do it man. You only have so much time.
Hahaha. Well I may not be that drastic, but I feel like that sometimes.
hey man,
this is an intense blog post.
if you need anything, and want to try to invest a few minutes in someone who's willing to listen to you, i'd be happy to try to be that person.
i've felt how you felt, and you'd be surprised -- the dismal nature of your life may shift, it has happened a few times to me.
life functions in cycles. mimicking nature, we each have our summers of fun, our springs of life, our autumns of change, and our winters of loss.
good luck with everything you're sorting out with yourself. :)
bless you,
erin
Learn the difference between sorrow and self pity. Then you will find the path you need to take.
The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.
Psalm 37:23-24 (KJV)
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
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