Untitled

As you well know I am not near cool enough to be reading something insightful to share with you. Most of my posts will be me ranting when I feel I need to rant. I am in a depression right now. I may not seem like it to most, but I can stoop into the darkest states. For most likely everyone who might just read this dang thing I bet that is news. Right now I feel that everything in my life is disappointing me. My relationships with everybody, my job, my brother, my major even. I know that saying my relationships disappoint me kind of pokes all my friends right in the eye, and for that I apologize. I am not disappointed with my friends for the most part. I am disappointed with the way I handle my relationships. I am on the verge of just withdrawing from everybody and just dedicating myself to my work and being the worst person any of you know. I am almost ready to scrap life as I know it until I get to Pharmacy school in AU. Relationships are work and right now I feel that I am far to messed up to focus on nurturing others. I think that any happiness I derive out of life immediately gets shoved right out the door and I tell it to leave me alone. Even when I feel good lurking in he ack of my mind is the thought that it is all a sham. If you see me smiling do not believe it. Likely it is a passing moment of hope that will soon be bottled up.