I am not sure what you (the reader) write blogs geared towards your readers or mainly to write and share what you feel with people who may or may not care. I write because of the latter. As far as I can tell all of the people who consistently read my blog are not affected by my topic so if you want to stop reading you can. Will not hurt my feelings. Being ok with it just being me and God is a hard thing to do. I know I hit on this subject a little before, but I feel much more secure now and I hope to not just spray bullshit everywhere. I am not strictly talking about a romantic relationship, that is only a very small part of this topic. I am talking more along the lines of friendships. I have struggled to grow as a person so that I could mature my relationships. I think the area I struggle the most in as I grow is my need for people. I am willing to sit and wish that someone (who probably doesn't even really want to see me) will just call and want to do something. I know from my readings that God comes far before my earthly relationships. Noah spent over 100 years with no one but God and his immediate family, and then spent X amount of time with those same people repopulating the earth. Jesus spent 40 days away from everything in fasting and prayer. I can't spend one night in prayer with just me and him. I am searching the Bible in earnest for answers to why I am dependent on mortal man. I am not of this earth (Faith) and should act accordingly. I ask for prayer in seeking to put my relationship with God first. This may not have made alot of sense, but I have never been organized and it is a broad subject. My apologies if this is offensive or pathetic but they can not all be light and happy.